From time to time, life deals you a “what-the-hell” moment and it is my opinion that we should savor these like fine wine…if for no other reason than to laugh at life and shake your fist at the doom-sayers.
The other night I was dealt just such a moment.
Many studies have been done with regard to the makeup of the criminal mind. Never has behavioral science met such a conundrum as the multi-tasking ability of a wrongdoer in action. How they plan, how they implement, seeing all angles, cover upon cover…it’s staggering how the successful thief relies on his keen intellect to stay one step ahead of law enforcement.
…and then there’s Greenville, Mississippi.
While watching my local news, they began to report on a story that was shocking in its magnitude and “what-the-hell”ishness. It seems there has been a rash of burglaries in the city. These were robberies that affected all residents with equal fear and trepidation. This was no simple string of break-ins. Nor were the crimes perpetrated against jewelry merchants or pawn shops.
No…these Crime Lords were stealing speed bumps. Yes, I said speed bumps. As in bumps in the street to reduce the speed of vehicles. Yeah, those.
Apparently, a group of dastardly criminals (I’m assuming it’s a group, which makes this even more sad) has been using a crowbar to PRY these speed bumps from the road and taking them away. After I stopped gawking at the screen and closed my mouth, I began to ponder the impact of such a heinous crime, and the questions came immediately:
1. What is the street value of a used speed bump?
2. Why haven’t I heard about the speed bump cartel in Greenville until now?
3. How are we going to stop the unnecessary speeding NOW?
4. Why were the stripes left in the road? Aren’t they are a valuable accessory?
Please feel free to comment on this masterful crime to help me understand better and make some sense of this evil world.
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1 comment:
Unfortunately, that's even funnier than my mishap last weekend. With Memorial Day approaching and the weather getting a little warmer, I had decided to turn on my A/C unit to cool off the house a little bit. Well, I noticed it was hot Thursday and just suffered for the night. Then when I got home from work Friday, it was like a dang sauna in the house. So after checking the Unit in the attic, and everything is fine with that, I went to look at the outside part, thinking dirt and leaves had clogged it up and it couldn't circulate well. That damn thing is G-O-N-E. Some freaks have stolen my AIR CONDITIONER!
But yeah, the theft of the speed bumps is definitely more "what the hell" than the a/c. At least we know why they want the a/c - the copper!
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